The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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