is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
