Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
