I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
