tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize