so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
