benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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