i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
