The maid of honor just puked.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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