Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
