God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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