who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
