I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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