i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
