Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
