I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
