her vagine was all disorganized.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
