I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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