Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
