Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
