o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
its liver damage thursday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
