Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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