OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
