Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
