I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
