don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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