Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
