The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
