Rock
Scissors
Fuck
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
