Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
