When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
