What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
