i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
