just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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