This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
