i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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