i just made my gag reflex go away.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
