if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
