Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
