Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
