are you so shy because you have an std?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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