woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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