Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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