Got a toothbrush?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
