So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
