i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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