All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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