Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize