so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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