what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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