so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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