hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
