This is not my ceiling
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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