Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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