I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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