what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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