i will never coherently bang her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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