what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
