dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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